19 August 2012

Guy Liner

Once upon a time,
my friend Jenni turned 21. To celebrate, we were going to Salt Lake to the Twilight Concert Series concert of iron&wine- a band that I love. We were also going to go dancing, and have a sleepover at Jayson's house. The plan was to drive up to Salt Lake Wednesday the fifteenth with Jenni, Jomel, and Donovan, sleep, party Thursday with concert, dancing, et cetera, then head home.
Good plan.

Well, sometimes people die and that complicates plans.
My grandma's nephew died and I'm her designated driver (not meaning she's always drunk. She just doesn't like driving now that she's on in her years) and she needed to attend the funeral. So, Jenni, Jomel, Donovan, grandma, and I drove together in Grandma's car. I call us: Grandma's gang.

So grandma and I funeraled in Wallsburg, UT, population: tiny. Then grandma went off with my auntie and I took the car to get my friends and party.

Jenni, Jomel, and I picked up Jayson in Taylorsville (Donovan was already in Salt Lake), then hit up Chipotle for some grub. I was full of good ol' Mormon comfort food (e.g. ham, funeral potatoes, Jell-o salad) so I wasn't going to order anything. The following conversation happened with the man at the till.

Man: Are you getting anything?
Me: No. I'm not really hungry.
Man: If you've never had Chipotle before I can give you a free burrito.
Me: I used live back East where Chiptoles were plentiful and I ate there all the time.
Man: Well, I'll give you one anyway.

So I got a free burrito from Chipotle.

Jenni said he was flirting with me, but I don't really care because I got a free burrito from Chipotle. And I'm an award-winning author (just thought I'd remind you).

We then headed to City Creek to meet up with Cadence. It is a beautiful place! We didn't have a lot of time to spend there, but I really liked what little I saw. I'll need to go back, for sure.
Next stop: Pioneer Park, which is usually waaaaay sketch, but the people running the concert series clear out the vagrants and are now charging a nominal fee of $5 to keep it classy. Er. I'm not complaining. Super cheap. While there, I met up with a bunch of mission friends and we had a fun time catching up and listening to iron&wine.
The next stage of the adventure was dancing at Area51. Thursday night is 80's night so we had some sa-weet outfits to change into. I'm going to be really vain and tell you all that my outfit was great. Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures. Yet. Jayson had the only camera. I don't think I'll see those photos before he goes on his mission.... Anywho, part of my outrageous 80's outfit included makeup. Eyeliner to be exact, or, when worn by men, guy-liner (I was going for a David Bowie inspired look for the eyes). This stuff is waterproof. But not sweat-proof. After less than an hour, my nice, cleanly lined eyes had turned into raccoon eyes. Luckily, it looked ok because it looked Goth which was also very 80's.

At Jayson's house, I tried to wash off that mess of eye gunk. Yes. Tried. I scrubbed with soap. Then Jomel told me that I could get it off by putting on lotion and wiping it off with a tissue. I got lotion in my eyes and lotion hurts 400x more than soap in the eye. Way painful. I managed to get 68% of the guy-liner off, but the area around my eyes was swollen because of the excessive scrubbing and there are now little scabs under my eyes. Sad, I know.
I ended up wearing sunglasses the whole time I was around my grandma the next day because I didn't want her to see the guy-liner and think I was a cross-dresser or something. Well, when grandma saw that I was wearing guy-liner, she said that she had something that would take that right off. Of course she does. She's an Avon lady. Thanks to my sister Gail's makeup remover, I got it all off.

Sorry this is such a pictureless post. I do hope you enjoyed reading about Jenni's birthday adventure!


  1. I love that you cleared all that up as to why your grandma needs a designated driver!

  2. hahahhaha. This is HILARIOUS! It definitely made my day :)

  3. Lovely. I want to know what Gma really said when she realized you were wearing makeup. ;o)
    And the 80's... that was a really bad fashion decade. You must get a picture.

  4. Came from the FB page as it was a cry for boosted self-esteem. However anyone wearing guy-liner does not need self esteem help - perhaps just help on how to remove eye makeup w/o causing small scabs (ouch!!).

  5. Hahaha. That was great!! You could have looked like Alice Cooper ;). Love it!!

  6. You forgot to mention that I sewed on all of the gold buttons for your gorgeous crushed velvet jacket... Oh and that I sewed in the middle of the night as we drove with the light of the car vanity mirror... Good times :D